Wednesday, May 08, 2002

My campaign slogan as God

If I were to be elected as your God [blasphemy], I shall in every ear, in every language, tell every living person on this terrestrial sphere simultaneously, "STOP, MAKE PEACE NOW!" With a resounding clap of thunder for effect, the ensuing rolling echoes reverberating into silence will be replaced by the murmurs and whispers and shouts and sighs of the people. Of course those afflicted with feeble hearts shall die of heart attacks but those left standing or perhaps at this point groveling shall ask of each other, “Did you hear that?” Every headline of every newspaper and magazine shall proclaim a new dawn, a new age of mankind. Peace treaties shall be signed in earnest and with unprecedented compromise. Synagogues, mosques, churches, temples, and every man made structure built to house my words and accommodate my constituents shall be filled to overflowing so that they may pray to me, your Lord.

Annually, a worldwide holiday shall be celebrated by the masses to commemorate this event, only so that thousands of years from now the true meaning of this day shall be obscured or lost. People will ask of themselves “what shall I do now?” The answers will undoubtedly be found in those charlatans that proclaim themselves as my profits or as speakers on my behalf; taking full advantage of my constituents in ways I can only shake my head at disapprovingly. Scholars will arise to interpret the true meaning and significance of my words. Extremist factions shall arise. The militant Stop, Make Peace Now Movement shall go around killing others in the name of peace and in the name of me, your Lord.

Maybe the next day I shall declare with the same booming voice and clap of thunder, “THE 11TH COMMANDMENT! DON’T BE A PHONY! DON’T BE SOMEONE YE ARE NOT! I HATE THAT SHIT!

If you will have me, please elect me as your next God. Thank-you.