Whitney wants my nuts

Apparently Whitney wants my nuts. My roommates told me that this girl wants my nuts and wanted me to come out to the bar they were hanging out at. Apparently she remembers me from some party, but I don’t remember her or even have the slightest clue who she is. I am unenthusiastic to allow some random girl to have my nuts and stayed home as a result. I treasure my scrotum and all that resides therein. Don't worry boys, you'll get your chance some other time.

A fitness instructor at the rec center told me that this girl in her Spanish class came up to her and asked her if she knew me because apparently she wants my nuts too. Apparently she saw me working at the rec and knows my name and thinks I am hot and buff. I don't remember boarding this fantasy trip I am on, but girls have been flirting with me like crazy lately and I have been a little inclined to flirt back. I try not to enjoy it too much because as I tell all the women. I hate you! I hate girls! Girls suck!

My first camera

I have led a very cloistered life. There are many things that I have not done in my life that shocks people. I have never eaten buffalo wings, consumed a bowl of Cocoa Puffs cereal, and I have never taken a photograph with my very own camera. I own very few pictures, all of them given to me by my friends. Many times I have wished I had a camera to photograph bygone memories. Now I will have my opportunity to photograph at my discretion, because gosh darn it I own a camera. 27 snapshots and 27 memories to be made by 27 different snaps of a finger with my very own disposable one-time use camera.

The question is what moments and what places and what people shall I preserve for posterity with my one-time use camera. I only have 27 shots; only 27 chances to get it right before the camera is rendered inoperable. I don't want to be one of those people that randomly photographs everything and anything with no real meaning and no real story to tell about the picture. I want meat and potatoes when I take a picture. I want drama and romance and action. I want to tell my grandchildren that this was the whore I banged during my backpacking trip thru the Saskatchewan province.

Rec n' Roll vs. Division By Zero

Won today's softball game 16-3. I like pitching; it's my natural place to be on the field. I think we could have shut them out if it were not for a couple of errors. I barely talked to Farren. I think it's because I am starting to like her and now I am getting scared for some reason. I wish I knew what to do. I do know now that I would be a fool not to pursue something. I just need to be cool and see what develops.

You can call me an idiot because I blew her off when she wanted to go rock climbing with me after last game and when she told me she loves sushi and wanted to know if I liked it, that had to have been my opening for me to ask her if she might want to go get sushi sometime. Yes, I am an idiot; go ahead and say it, I won't be offended.

Holy crap netscape users

I just viewed my web log with a Netscape 4.0 browser. Holy monkey balls Batman! That shit did not look right.

A chance encounter

Alright something is up. I met Farren at the supermarket today after work. I find this slightly peculiar because I have now bumped into her a couple of times now by chance just in the last couple of days. Sometimes I find myself believing in chance encounters, the powers of providence, and the gentle divine prodding here and there; sometimes I think we are subtlety guided to carry out certain deeds but that we ultimately have to make the decisions that we must live the rest of our lives with. Another school of thought is that we are being manipulated by monkey aliens.

In the past I have manipulated fate by creating "chance" encounters. Ryan might remember the time that I switched spots with another co-worker to get into a mandatory staff training course so that I could take the class with a hot lifeguard named Jessica that I did happen to date for a month. Jessica thought that it was fate that we took the class together. I felt guilty that I knew better. This time though I am fighting it but fate seems to have different plans.

Why on earth would I fight it. Farren is a remarkable girl. She is entirely unique from the average college girl. She knows what it means to be spontaneous. She loves rock climbing and backpacking and traveling. This summer she is planning to go to Costa Rica and Montana. She happens to be a backpacking and scuba guide for Outdoor Adventures. I learned while talking to her for 20 minutes in aisles 4 and 5 is that she likes to cook (using her George Foreman grill), the cereal brand Total, sushi, hot sauce mixed with brown sugar, and milk. How can you find fault with someone who likes good old American milk? Damn my lactose intolerance!

Summer school - day two

Actually enjoyed class today. I'm starting to get into it, just like the good old days when I used to be a big fat nerd. Balance sheets, income statements, retained earnings statement. Yes, yes, I believe I am starting to remember all of this from accounting classes.

The real excitement of the day was the softball game. First game and most of our best guys either don't show or in Omar's case, gets hurt right before the season starts and has to wear a cast for the next 3 weeks. The season is long so we will have him back by the middle of the regular season. We barely won 14-13. I was acclaimed the hero of the game. My first hit, the outfielders were not respecting me and did not play me deep. I jacked a gigantic homerun, hitting it to the other softball field disrupting the other game in progress. The game was tied 13-13 and I came up in the bottom of the last inning and won the game when I batted in my teammate waiting on second. I am starting to get used to these game winning at-bats. It was an awesome game. We were down the entire game and rallied at the very end.

The big news is Farren asked me out to go rock-climbing. Instead of being ecstatic I am sort of at unease. I like the chase and this was too quick of a hunt. I attract very forward women it seems. What the hell is wrong with me? I must be sick in the head. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself and the hunt is just getting started.

In other news … I bumped into Jill today, that little wood sprite. She is so nice. She is about to graduate after she finishes summer school and then off to the Virgin Islands for 6 months where her sister lives and then off to graduate school. I am so stupid not to keep in touch. She ordered me to e-mail her because she knows how lazy I am. I will, I will do it. She is so nice. Beautiful eyes and smile too. I am thinking of giving her the web address to chopped liver so she can keep tabs on what I am doing if it so interests her to do so.

Today was a good day. Poor Ryan did not seem like he was having much fun today. I had to laugh at his biking uniform. I was glad that he told me that he was biking and not just wearing a biking uniform for the hell of it. Yes, today was a good day.

The outdoor adventures girl

Started summer school. FIN311 (intro to finance). I am going to do good. I must do good. I need to start taking school seriously again. I signed up for fall classes. I am going back to the business college and finally going to start finishing up my degree. I have spent the last two years screwing things up and not taking the final requirements of my major.

Went to go work out after class. Went to work afterward for 5 hours. I hate working this long. I know, I am a wimp. So many idiots, so many absurd questions. The one bright spot of the day was when I talked to this girl named Farren. She works for Outdoor Adventures, the hermits of the rec center; holed up in their cave so no one at the rec knows who these people are. I have only talked to her once since working there and it was not even at work. The first time I talked to her was during the spring semester's softball league when we played each other's team in the semifinal game. I asked her if she was that girl who worked at the rec and asked her what her name was. This time I asked her if she wanted to play on my summer softball team.

She seems truly excited to play. The butterflies in my stomach tell me that she just may be excited to play because I asked her and not for the enjoyment of the game. Those damn butterflies! What do they know? I got her phone number and called her and left a message once I conferred with the team captain asking if it was alright to have her come. She called back and I got to the phone too late. She called right back and I knew it had to be her by the urgency in the sound of the ring, as if she was pleading on the other line that I would pick up the second time so that she may be able to talk to me [yes, this was what I was thinking and hoping]. She did seem really excited to talk to me though. Damn it! I see the train wreck up ahead at the next stop and yet I stay on for the ride. I know I am going to make a fool of myself. I know this. I know it.

The professor's memory of Hathayutha

I had a dream last night. I was some sort of guardian angel who went around helping others. I was sent to help a world famous mathematician. The old man was bitter, lonely, and eccentric. He held a fascination for frogs, collecting and cataloguing specimens around the campus. I quickly became his protégé after he quizzed me on my knowledge of advanced mathematics. The test which was intended to be difficult was simple addition and subtraction to me.

After gaining the man's trust he presented me with a scrapbook of keepsakes. The one memento that stood out was this picture of an ancient village nearby a sea with a dozen dolphins in various poses of ascent and descent, jumping in and out of the water. The picture was handmade by sewing different colored pieces of thread. The professor told me that it belonged to a friend of his from his youth and that the village of Hathayutha was destroyed in an earthquake and sank underneath the sea. I touched the picture and was taken back in time to that same village.

I found myself in the professor's body of his youth holding hands with a beautiful girl with black hair and chestnut brown eyes. We were running for our lives for an earthquake had just hit the village and the ground was sinking. We passed by a temple with hundreds of monks sobbing, standing outside in the courtyard watching their beloved temple crumble and allowing the water to flow over them drowning themselves in the process. My friend and I swam to higher ground where we passed by another smaller temple. This temple was meant to be considered a place for worshippers to receive good luck by bringing toy elephants as offerings. We witnessed the overseers of this temple kicking out two women who were crying on the steps down from the temple, elephants in hand. The two women apparently had entered the building prior to the earthquake.

Knowing the memories of the professor I knew my friend was going to die and I (the professor) would live. I did not know how I was supposed to help the professor after knowing what he had lost. I thought that I had come too late, he was beyond my help. I don't think I am cut out to be a guardian angel.