tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34708972011-04-21T12:12:43.637-07:00chopped liverdocumentation of my gradual insanityToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comBlogger2841100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1166113946364334972006-12-14T08:28:00.000-08:002006-12-14T08:32:26.376-08:00Coming Back?
Nobody knows of this little abode but Ryan and my former girl with the brown hair curls but neither of them probably check this place out anymore. Myspace is where my friends are at. I should start writing again. I can't believe it's been years. So many things have happened. The passage of time is a bitch but for it I have grown up considerably. I regret so many things but I'm in aToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1108920421472288462005-02-19T09:24:00.000-08:002005-02-20T09:27:01.473-08:00Happy birthday
Happy Birthday to a little bird. 6 years ago today I remember well.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1104029393902904412004-12-25T18:48:00.000-08:002004-12-25T19:01:32.656-08:00Not the Christmas I imagined
This time of year is always rife with the absurd. I got a call that a fat drunk guy was waving a gun at people up and down a major thoroughfare. Long story short, I ended up tackling the guy and I’m smiling having a good time on top of him (I hope someone videotaped it) while another officer is attempting to talk to this deranged lunatic. The guy spits at the Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1103211190501300192004-12-16T07:27:00.000-08:002004-12-16T16:41:17.723-08:00Critic Appreciation
“Hot, stammering creative bliss … an uncertain but dazzling light onto the world … a monument to human intellect.”
-The New Yorker
“Stretches the game out … P.I.M.P. fo’ life”
-Vibe
“He scares me”
-Charles Manson
“Asshole”
-Most of my ex-girlfriends
Feel free to leave your appreciation as well ... I am sure you are astounded by the genius Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1103127268750973672004-12-15T08:08:00.000-08:002004-12-15T09:46:34.193-08:00State of affairs
The dancing girl left a voicemail telling me I’m an ass for not calling her and the girl with the brown hair curls has kept her word not to call.
One of my good friends just got accepted into the fire academy. He’s getting married to a very old ex-girlfriend of mine. I am excited for him but I pity him too. Police and Fire train at the same academy and those fire Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1102655839144320572004-12-09T21:14:00.000-08:002004-12-09T21:19:03.750-08:00
I need a hug
It seems I write here when I am not feeling the most chipper. This last year I was on hiatus from writing was the greatest year ever. Girls, great job, more friends than I knew what to do with, parties, clubs, trips, and the most dominating softball team ever assembled.
Now I feel pretty depressed about the current state of affairs. Great new job, however it’s pretty Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1102647564729675252004-12-09T18:56:00.000-08:002004-12-09T20:19:58.743-08:00“I never want to speak with you again”
Harsh … the words from the girl with the brown hair curls. But, but … but I didn’t promise. Why does she have to be so rigid? How many times does she insert that word into my mouth?
We’ve been trying to be good friends and allow the past to be the past. I wanted to drop by her class where she was making potato latkes for her kids. I told her I Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1102037272379467252004-12-02T17:22:00.000-08:002004-12-02T19:12:29.990-08:00The next Pearl Jam song
For my peace of mind. To place my ghost at rest. I must find her. It’s been 5 years. I will call the next time I hear a Pearl Jam song come on the radio. She would understand.
In my attempt to vocalize my current mood:
Bridges do crumble
The water so cold
Bridges do humble
A traveling soul
How do I get home to the streets I knew?
How do I get homeToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1101837823889806432004-11-30T10:03:00.000-08:002004-12-02T13:14:14.970-08:00A wall fell on me
I got switched to the day shift. All rookies get switched around for the first 4 months to get exposure to the different shifts. It is so boring during the day. All the action occurs at night.
My average of arrests has come down from 2-3 at night to 1 during the day. It’s a pretty high average thus far. I guess it’s something to be proud of. I’m positive that I have Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1101627900825198252004-11-28T00:40:00.000-08:002004-11-27T23:48:12.200-08:00the word of the day
For all you etymologists out there, the word of the day is ... abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
It is the only common word in English to contain twenty-six different letters, all in alphabetical order.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1101494030611802382004-11-26T10:24:00.000-08:002004-11-30T10:11:32.866-08:00countdown to the new year begins
Who is going to give me my New Year's kiss? I started the year dating four girls at once, then I got back with the girl with the brown hair curls, and next I hooked up with one of my best friend’s a couple times and chased after her to Chicago during the Halloween weekend. Now I’m back to square one.
My most recent female interest was peculiar. Her Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1101335040714248752004-11-24T14:23:00.000-08:002004-11-24T18:29:10.023-08:00a productive night
It must be a record for a rookie. Made 5 separate arrests. Served 11 arrest warrants. Charges ranged from 11 misdemeanors to 10 felonies. 2 building searches. Searched in vain for a homicide suspect that was in the area. To apprehend that guy would have been the ultimate clincher. He purportedly gunned down a man and left his badly decomposing body for his 4 year old son Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1101069588877777132004-11-21T12:39:00.000-08:002004-11-25T16:49:03.596-08:00the remains of the play
We are fledgling children of passing latter days – actors of improvisation unable to cope with the realities of the play.
Suicide call last night. A high-school kid shot himself in the chest and phoned his recent ex-girlfriend to tell her that he was dying.
It was a nightmare. We arrived to absolute pandemonium. Family and friends were arriving to the Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1101064369647362962004-11-20T00:11:00.000-08:002004-11-22T02:35:30.716-08:00Cranberry Splash
Last night the girl with the brown hair curls joined me for coffee and a movie (The Incredibles). I told her that before I had picked her up I had had a cranberry splash from Eegee’s, a local phenomenon of frozen fruit slush’s. Every month they have a flavor of the month and every year for the past 7 years without fail I eagerly look forward to November’s for my favorite, Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1100891230895720262004-11-19T12:06:00.000-08:002004-11-19T14:30:43.456-08:00
Opinions
Opinions, everyone has one right?
I try hard to steer away from them. However, I do have some. It is hard to preclude them from forming. I believe cats are cute. I believe that babies have the potential to become well-adjusted adults. And if there is one strong opinion I do embrace it is the fact that I don't like vegetables. I like to keep it simple, opinions that othersToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1100798386254149432004-11-18T09:19:00.000-08:002004-11-20T03:58:16.623-08:00digitize me
Bought my first real camera as opposed to my first camera. An Olympus C-7000 digital camera.
It’s about time I began recording the redeeming qualities of the transitive physical world, converting those images into binary bits of information. Or in other words … “fuck yeah I’m going to shoot some freak nasty shit.”
Show me, show me,
Show me how you do that Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1100602045276235202004-11-16T02:34:00.000-08:002004-11-20T03:59:15.313-08:00good guys 1, bad guys 0
I don't exactly know where the spleen is located but it must suck to get shot there. One less evil in this world.
During however long my tenure as a cop may be, I foresee that I could easily become callous, bereft of emotional response. My callous response? An ode to Hector who stole our hearts away...
We are the pretty, petty thieves,
And you're Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1100451907619687522004-11-14T08:22:00.000-08:002004-11-19T12:45:24.646-08:00your hair is everywhere
Chicken, beans, and rice burritos from Trader Joe's. It keeps you rocking. I still owe Ryan a burrito. It appears he moved to San Francisco.
So many changes ...
It's been a year since my last post. What happened? Where have I been? My purported death was just rumor. It’s been a whirlwind though.
Got lost in the Pyrenees … for 2 months. Thought I Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1065440340301365062003-10-03T04:35:00.000-07:002003-10-07T19:17:24.950-07:00The day that changed me
In this one day
This one day contained
The confusion of the former days
All passed away
And after the years I find
The feelings still remain
My arms are so wide
Your kisses may break me
So break me
Go ahead and break me
I’m so afraid
The struggles of today
But in this one day
This one day contained
I remember
I remember I was brave
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064998310748224542003-10-01T01:51:00.002-07:002004-11-19T11:24:21.623-08:00October
I wait for October’s like children await Christmas or vampires await the sunset or like vampires awaiting children on Christmas Eve. October is my favorite month of the year. If September’s are ridden with bad luck, it is all made good again by October’s good fortune. This is the month I shine. This is the month I come out to play and play hard. This is the time of the year where I Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064998288659637902003-10-01T01:51:00.001-07:002003-10-01T03:56:21.076-07:00An Anniversary
Two years ago today the girl with the brown hair curls kissed me. We were sitting on a bench late at night on campus. She turned and I turned and she planted one on me. I knew it was coming … I’m glad she took the initiative. And I kept kissing her, thinking the night would end and I would never have the chance to kiss her again.
Would I do it again if I knew what wouldToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064998266570667792003-10-01T01:51:00.000-07:002003-10-01T01:51:06.780-07:00Leaving on a jet plane
I have to leave in a couple hours for Florida. My grandparents are both on their deathbeds. I will be back Saturday.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064921786343050602003-09-29T04:35:00.000-07:002003-09-30T05:02:35.283-07:00Pip Triumphant
I remember when I was a kid playing the make your own adventure Dungeon and Dragon books. The hero of the series of books was a young, malnourished boy named Pip. With his trusty little sword and shaking hands he would fight dragons, goblins, trolls, wraiths, and the like on his two spindly legs. And if you chose wisely and accomplished the primary goal of his undertaking you Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064750792225017242003-09-27T05:06:00.000-07:002003-09-28T16:20:32.046-07:00No show
Instead of carousing around town I decided to go to the gym. It’s a different crowd on Friday nights. Everyone is under the age of 21. Some underage couples actually made dates of it.
I’ve never had my stomach tied in knots prior to a gym workout, but this night was different. This night I was going to attempt to charm the girl that I have been thinking of nonstop since we Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064582065241385832003-09-26T06:14:00.000-07:002003-09-26T18:56:02.740-07:00Conversations with Danielle
This Danielle is driving me crazy. She has got to be the greatest flirt I have ever come across and I have come across my fair share. She has mastered the art of it splendidly. The butterflies will attest to her effectiveness.
She has the most beautiful almond shaped brown eyes and she uses them to her advantage. She stares at me and will not drop her eyes Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064577946358573902003-09-26T05:05:00.000-07:002003-09-26T06:54:27.500-07:00Exhausted
After a 15 mile hike, a morning football game, a shift at work, and a 10 mile jaunt for home I was feeling a bit tired and was feeling a bit of pain in my leg after this last weekend. A few days to recover for speed soccer Wednesday’s.
Speed soccer was a killer. We had to play a doubleheader and again only 6 men show up to play. 6 men against 7 and no substitutions to fill Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064180841959331832003-09-21T14:47:00.000-07:002003-09-22T05:02:04.766-07:00Cliff Notes
Alright … here are some cliff notes to my short story. You may ask yourself, "Is there symbolism?" Holy crap that is all there is!
There is only one sage. The garden is life. The trees are days in the life of the sage throughout his incarnations.
Each time thru the garden he becomes wiser and less naive and innocent. He reaches the great tree of recognition faster Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064179498822321002003-09-21T14:24:00.000-07:002003-09-21T14:39:01.386-07:00A learning experience
This morning had a men's flag football game. Lost 24-6. The score is not indicative of our athletic prowess. We were missing four of our best players. We were penalized for not having a full squad. We had to call up some roommates of one of our team member's to make a full squad, but we were in dire straights without any substitutions to give our players a breather.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064176695810814522003-09-21T13:38:00.000-07:002003-09-21T14:35:02.203-07:00A Sacred Pilgrimage
Yesterday I journeyed to the top of Mt. Wrightson. 15 mile round trip. The climb starts at 5000 feet and the summit is 9000 feet. Afterward, I am thinking of swearing off group trips on extreme elevation gain hikes. What irks me is going at a group pace. Even though it is a slower pace I find myself tiring more easily because I have to trek at someone else’s pace and the Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1064042431535237122003-09-20T00:20:00.000-07:002003-09-20T03:54:37.590-07:00Shaky Knees
Leaving in a couple hours for a strenuous day hike up to the top of Mt. Wrightson. I’m a bit worried about my knees, if they can handle the stress. My knees are buckling under the strain I have been putting them under of late. The combination of my powerful speed, brute size, and the severe lateral movements involved with playing on a speed soccer team and two flag football teamsToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063878854764994852003-09-18T02:54:00.000-07:002003-09-19T04:27:49.556-07:00A human trampoline
Speed soccer. Two balls simultaneously in action. Four quarters, seven minutes each. Seven men on the field, plus substitutions waiting in the wings for relief. Unfortunately, only six players showed up to play for my team.
Six players playing against seven. No substitutions for our weary crew. Six players running … running … and running. My team did not lack the Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063808538762267792003-09-17T07:22:00.000-07:002003-09-21T15:27:56.756-07:00A Fragmented Garden
Four sages enter a garden to further their enlightenment. They agree to all take differing paths and depart along four separate roads.
The youngest sage, unhurried, walks a leisurely pace. Unaware, he loses his way almost immediately. Not able to retrace his steps if he sought an egress, he is unconcerned for he is truly enraptured by the beauty of the garden.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063798693064364822003-09-17T04:38:00.000-07:002003-09-17T04:57:07.920-07:00Danielle
I worked late last night at the rec as security. There was a new girl at work named Danielle. She was flirting with me all night long. I saw her one time before as I was talking to a friend a few days ago. I was talking to my friend as Danielle and I could not stop looking into each other's eyes. There seems to be chemistry. I think she is a seriously hot item. She is a gorgeous Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063757967247900922003-09-16T17:19:00.000-07:002003-09-16T21:54:57.733-07:00Siddhartha
Emily has reminded me of a book I read a long time ago. Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. And in domino like fashion it also reminds me of a short story I have written. It is a story with the ideas of enlightenment and reincarnation in mind. I will post it tomorrow morning.
I know all of you out there are salivating. Be patient while I stitch the seams together for your reading Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063589817616042992003-09-14T18:36:00.000-07:002003-09-16T13:30:39.090-07:00A good start
Intramural Flag Football season has begun, playing our team’s first game this morning. My team won 76-0. As a sign of mercy we played a man down for the second half and yet one side of the football field, 50 yards of football pasturage, remained untouched. It was a sickening match as the opposing team could not muster a drive into our territory for the entire game.
As a Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063460001940138882003-09-13T06:33:00.000-07:002003-09-14T08:00:11.463-07:00The dulcet tones of lyrical prose
I have just become aware of a travesty to the good name Wuthering Heights. Apparently MTV is setting Emily Bronte’s tale to a modern day California tune in a movie that is set to premiere tomorrow. I don’t even have to set eyes upon it to know it is doomed to eclipse the novel in any shape or form. Maybe I am just strongly biased.
What the Fuji is Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063458571011831402003-09-13T03:55:00.000-07:002003-09-13T06:10:04.570-07:00The plight of being vain
I am in a melancholy mood. I have not been going out. It’s not for a lack of invites. I got asked out by four different people last night. I was already feeling down but now that I lost my hair in a hair clipping accident I feel even more saddened. I am so vain.
I have been just sitting here looking at my archives. Sometimes I wonder why some people will Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063366250878457252003-09-12T04:30:00.000-07:002003-09-13T04:02:56.510-07:00Take my hair clippers away
I promised myself that I would never again shave my head. I promised. I tried to give myself a little trim and slipped up. Not to worry I thought, I will just cut it a little shorter ... and shorter ... and shorter. Next I know I am giving myself a Mohawk which I thought was really bad-ass and punk-rock until I messed that up as well. I shaved my head.
I Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063285809777297202003-09-11T06:10:00.000-07:002003-09-12T00:52:48.010-07:00My campaign slogan as God
If I were to be elected as your God [blasphemy], I shall in every ear, in every language, tell every living person on this terrestrial sphere simultaneously, "STOP, MAKE PEACE NOW!" With a resounding clap of thunder for effect, the ensuing rolling echoes reverberating into silence will be replaced by the murmurs and whispers and shouts and sighs of the people. Of Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063283650837824352003-09-11T03:34:00.000-07:002003-09-11T09:21:24.643-07:00The Toaster Jihad
I do not customarily use this medium to write on worldly events or political commentary. I leave that for those who use their web logs for that sole purpose. Inundated with the litany of repetitive newscasts I will comment in my own way.
The Toastmaster. Stainless steel toasting machine. The push-down levers are broken. Lest I forget to check on my toast, the Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063233265095353052003-09-10T15:34:00.000-07:002003-09-10T15:34:25.063-07:00Where is my libido?
I have been getting a ton of sleep and yet I always feel insanely tired. Could it be something to do with not dreaming? Am I not getting into a deep R.E.M. sleep? I dream a lot and lately I cannot remember dreaming at all.
Also, where is my libido? Where did it go? I feel asexual. Nothing stirs below.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063154655191863992003-09-09T17:44:00.000-07:002003-09-09T17:46:37.130-07:00Comment Please
The commenting system is back up so for all those who wanted to say something can now freely express thyself in a respectful manner.
In other news ... I am so mad. I have not worked out since Friday. I have to work tonight until midnight. I will definitely work out tomorrow. At least I have been getting a lot of walking in. Since I was too lazy to get my bike fixed Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1063019231232229862003-09-08T04:07:00.000-07:002003-09-09T05:59:26.523-07:00A midnight hike
Got off work at the rec center. My bike had a flat. I pumped it up while at the rec center but once I got outside the tire was flat again. It looked to be totally blown. It was midnight. Looked like I was walking home 10 miles away.
Others might grumble about their poor luck or detest their lot in life, but I love walking home. Hiking long distances is second nature. IToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1062949506007471422003-09-07T08:45:00.000-07:002003-09-07T10:03:26.850-07:00The birth of a blogger
I have birthed a baby. Her name is Emily. My first blogging baby. I see great things to come from her - great writings and a spectacular wit. The birthing process was not unkind (as usually is the case after the 100th trimester), pleasant in fact, although conception was a long process in the making. I was a bit sore after the fact but it was worthwhile. The iniquitousToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1062675123288543972003-09-04T04:32:00.000-07:002003-09-11T06:32:14.350-07:00The first move
I was talking to a friend about making the “first move.” I told her about a time I distinctly recollect whilst courting a girl who would turn out to be my first love.
She used to work at a dairy queen. I was visiting a friend of mine who worked there to bring her a pizza. I saw Shanna and was enamored. I found every excuse to go see my friend and then as time went by I Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1062645089753178612003-09-03T20:11:00.000-07:002003-09-10T15:45:31.523-07:00Ice water in the veins
I took my polygraph test today. I had the grim reaper administer the test. The man was old and bent and shuffled his feet slowly as he walked. The guy was expressionless and as hard as I tried to break the ice I could not make him break a smile. I thought for one moment I saw something resemble a corner of his mouth upraise, but if I wanted someone who I hoped to Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1062416302933564012003-09-01T04:38:00.000-07:002003-09-03T20:12:09.680-07:00The mushroom monolith
The old cannot remember when or how it all began. Whispering young not knowing what passes as proper etiquette. The blades of grass bend to accommodate the throng. The treasured path to the old time monolith
And the talk has been of the enemies that would destroy. Reports and rumor of enemy movement. Predilections towards believing the monolith safe. That no harmToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1062325618170749242003-08-31T03:26:00.000-07:002003-08-31T06:02:55.773-07:00The banality of a commonplace weekend
I am without a car. It now strikes me as an obvious blunder – selling my car when faced with places to go and no adequate means of transportation. Am I going to walk, use my bike, ride the bus, and if I do will I need to transfer to another bus? How much time will I need? What bus(es) fit with my schedule? Will the bus have the bike rack full? Will the Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1062023478139198642003-08-27T15:31:00.001-07:002003-08-31T03:34:10.216-07:00Until the day dropped out
The following is a jumble of words I wrote whilst an inebriated sobbing drunkard. I wrote it quick, my fingers a flash of rapid pace, wanting to burst in a torrent of grief before the tears that freshly stung my eyes dried up. It makes no sense, nonsense, but not senseless.
i'll meet you at the hotel
a lover's tryst
clear and descript
until the daylight
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1062023493263786172003-08-27T15:31:00.000-07:002003-08-27T15:37:49.123-07:00What the winds have brought me
I feel refreshed after a long and weary summer. The weather is perfect, lending me strength with its torrential rains and gusting winds – like the weather, I feel alive. Give me chaotic weather conditions any day. Fuck sunny days and the birds chirping their songs of contentment. The damn birds make me depressed.
Tucson has been deluged. The whole city Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1061844819228591332003-08-25T13:53:00.000-07:002003-08-25T14:00:15.523-07:00A weekend of choices
Well, I made my decisions and I hope they don’t come back to bite me. I enrolled in one class at the university, an English class, the Structure and Meaning of Words (ENG322). With the huge tuition hike the cost of one class has doubled. I had to use a credit card that I had just paid off and was hoping to never have to use again. I hate being in debt. If all goes well, Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1061538285310414682003-08-22T00:44:00.000-07:002003-08-22T01:01:04.516-07:00Show Me How to Live
I have been playing non-stop the Audioslave song, “Show Me How to Live.” Chris Cornell, the former singer of Soundgarden, lends his mellifluous shrill of melancholy angst to the metal funk riffs of the remaining members of Rage Against the Machine sans Zack de la Rocha. The sounds of both entities blended are unmistakable; creating music that I believe will eclipse the Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1061532722274656962003-08-21T23:12:00.000-07:002003-08-21T23:14:29.376-07:00One tired monkey
No sleep last night, had to take the bus at 5am to work, got off work and headed downtown to get my fingerprints taken at police headquarters as part of the background investigation. I got a chance to talk to other recruit applicants. I’m pretty optimistic that I may make it. I don’t know what to do right now. I’m in a state of limbo not knowing for sure. I have to stay Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1061361143658092622003-08-19T23:32:00.000-07:002003-08-20T00:40:14.356-07:00The interview
I had my interview today for the position of police recruit. I feel there should be a camera crew traveling around with me as I attempt to be one of the last men standing in this grueling process. It would make great reality television.
I looked so damn hot in my suit that the girl with the brown hair curls had picked out for me before our breakup. I got rave reviews Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1061101454363277942003-08-16T23:24:00.000-07:002003-08-17T01:21:34.236-07:00My heart, my saboteur
I was hanging out with some friends today; a Chinese lunch buffet that was quite sickening and a rented movie, Phone Booth (quite sickening as well), at a friend’s house. I was looking at the photographs on the wall. I became jealous of my friend who has struck a goldmine with the bountiful babe that he has draped over him in every picture. They are so incredibly cute Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1060944949772192422003-08-15T03:55:00.000-07:002003-08-15T04:07:39.720-07:00Don’t tug on superman’s cape
I am so scared. The interview is this Tuesday. I know I have it in me to sell myself, but I also know I have it in me to sabotage myself. I don’t know who is going to show up to the interview. There are so many hurdles to jump thru. This next week will be telling of whether I get the job or not.
Apparently, entering police headquarters wearing a big red Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1060584635152142972003-08-10T23:50:00.000-07:002003-08-14T11:47:45.376-07:00Doubts
I am crippled by self-doubt walking up a creosote lined road. The thunder clouds loom. Smells like green. Whoosh … the sound of a car, black like my thoughts. The stress is unbearable. Why does everything have to be so hard? My life is about to change. A turning point. A Rubicon river of my life I want to cross.
Is this really fate? Or is it all just haphazard? Am I some brokenToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1060460230204834312003-08-09T13:17:00.000-07:002003-08-09T13:17:10.216-07:00Another episode of Police Recruit Survivor
I finished my physical assessment. The format has changed from previous years. All I had to do was run a simple obstacle course in 3 minutes. Almost everyone out of 120 people completed it within the allotted time. I wish it were like previous years where applicants had to demonstrate that they can pass a test of push-ups, sit-ups, and a 1.5 mile Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1060409811545489952003-08-08T23:16:00.000-07:002003-08-09T07:26:28.250-07:00Survivor
Today I felt like a contestant on some reality “Survivor” theme-based competition. I took the police officer written exam along with 510 other people this morning. I passed the test along with 157 other people. That removes over two-thirds of the competition. Then there was the pre-screening that I also passed. I’m not sure how many people did not pass this phase but there were at Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1060318900138579582003-08-07T22:01:00.000-07:002003-08-07T22:09:03.063-07:00The Secret Garden
I finished reading The Secret Garden. I have never read it before. It may be classified as a children’s book but sometimes it’s nice to go back to the basics of reading. Nothing grandiose in the intent of the design. Very simple message. I believe that this was the most opportune of times for me to read it. Fate is a warped ride of twists and turns. Why at this time of any Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1060242424988734272003-08-07T00:47:00.000-07:002003-08-07T00:56:05.450-07:00Unbreakable
A female friend of mine said that I reminded her of Bruce Willis in the film Unbreakable. Anyone seen it? It’s where Bruce finds out that he has the superhuman gift of being unbreakable, along with superhuman strength, and the ability to tell the future of anyone he comes in contact with. Bruce finds out that it is his mission in life to help people with his abilities. His Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1060237907067571352003-08-06T23:31:00.000-07:002003-08-07T00:58:48.350-07:00Decisions, Decisions
Today I went to the information workshop for the police officer position. After the selection process is completed they said that people won't be contacted until January if they have been selected for the next police academy class.
I don't know what to do. I don’t know if I can afford to wait that long. Another semester of school? I don’t think I can afford it, Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1060066413526761182003-08-04T23:53:00.000-07:002003-08-05T03:00:55.233-07:00A karmic car accident and an end to a dynasty
I got into a car accident on the way to my softball game. One car stopped suddenly, the car in front of us did the same, and then our car smashed into their rear end. Omar tried to hit the breaks but the breaks were pieces of shit and we slid into the next car. The impact was brutal. We slammed hell of hard. As we were skidding into the other carToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059979989357963372003-08-03T23:53:00.000-07:002003-08-04T06:14:08.956-07:00Starlight Legendry … the stars joy
As I crossed a bridge of dreams
A whisper of wind spoke soft to tell:
“A little bird flies yonder streams
Quicken your step over verdant dell”
Curious as dark grew darker
A sparkling horizon, my guiding marker
For the stars that shone went into hiding
Over the hill I tell my finding
Underneath the twilight batch
The stars turn from Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059978669696707602003-08-03T23:31:00.000-07:002003-08-04T01:05:40.420-07:00Times moments lost
I see beautiful things. I see them everywhere. I desperately want a digital camera to capture the beautiful things I see. Almost all of the photos I own were given to me by friends.
I wish I had a camera on that last night I spent a week hiking the Grand Canyon. I could have secured for all time that most rare of moments when the varied celestial elements of the Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059887721220137822003-08-02T22:15:00.000-07:002003-08-03T21:14:57.980-07:00Heavy lifting
I’ve been laid up in bed the last few days with my wrenched back. However, today I promised to help out a couple friends move into their new apartment. So … I pumped my body full of pain killers but first the four of us went to the Olive Garden for lunch where we got the hook up from the waitress that we knew.
Then we got to the business of heavy lifting their belongingsToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059713550960508442003-07-31T21:52:00.000-07:002003-08-04T15:49:10.466-07:00Stingers vs. Rec'n Crew
The above picture is of me in yesterday’s first round game. I hit the next pitch into right field for a double scoring two runs. We won 13-2, ending due to the mercy rule.
Today, we played in the quarterfinal game against the Stingers. Every time we play them it’s a war. We barely pulled it off winning 8-6. I had the worst game ever. I could barely moveToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059546305623391532003-07-29T23:25:00.000-07:002003-07-30T14:45:49.593-07:00A barren shelter
Dancing girl of brown hair curls
Delighting as the daylight shine unfurls
Rain clouds near, thickened with black display
Blocking the sun and his wayward way
She runs from the rain in rapid pace
A hollowed out tree her saving grace
A vacant refuge from the outside rain
Thankful for this haven from the outside bane
When long ago the rain had Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059545524007744082003-07-29T23:12:00.000-07:002003-07-30T03:54:51.913-07:00Softball game cancelled
The air is cool and clean as the monsoon rains travel from east to west at the same time everyday. Today was torrential in the amount of rain we received. The weatherman said it was the most rain we have received in one day since 1999. The Tucson streets looked more like impassable running rivers than means of access. The monsoon storms come quick without warning intoToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059376981366768692003-07-28T00:23:00.000-07:002003-07-28T23:00:18.446-07:00Innocence Lost
Where did all the laughter go?
Hearty cheers of children yore
Spirit who can stir the frowning foe
Have you traversed the exit door?
Raze the gloom with your company!
Stay with us and keep us warm
Creep upon so gingerly
Or swarm us with your graceful form
But I know the reason for laughter hence
He followed his brother of innocence
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059373809576628992003-07-27T23:30:00.000-07:002003-07-30T03:53:05.553-07:00Blogathon 2003
Sponsored two sites. Just Like a Dream for Hospice El Paso and Salamanteri.Net for World Wildlife Fund. Could only afford $10 each. I wish I could donate more. I bet next summer I will be able to donate more. Next summer … I keep telling myself for many things.
By the way ... does anyone have $20 I can borrow?
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059206209524353572003-07-26T00:56:00.000-07:002003-07-26T01:14:10.333-07:00This day undying
When tomorrow becomes today
Where does yesterday mumble off to?
Reluctant to retire, too heavy to stay
Hastily he makes his leaves much rushed to say:
Twixt the day before and the day after
Who knows what days will be thought of,
with sighs ... delight ... or laughter?
Some days I glory to be and parity forsaken
But I am an ordinary day clearly mistaken
RushedToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059202546687502982003-07-25T23:55:00.000-07:002003-07-26T05:07:22.623-07:00... and later that night
The girl with the brown hair curls dropped me off at the rec center where I met my workout partner Jay. Being comparable in strength I love competing against him. Ever since we have been working out together our strength has increased a great deal. We really push each other. I cannot emphasize enough how much a good workout partner is worth.
I beat him on Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059199479239569292003-07-25T23:04:00.000-07:002003-07-29T03:38:47.170-07:00And time moves foward
I’m too tired to go out tonight. Yesterday’s events and working today tired me out. I watched the Pirates of the Caribbean with the girl with the brown hair curls. I was doing just fine. I have been slowly healing. I was not feeling the usual emotional anguish when I get to see her until I was telling her about my dream of a few nights prior. She told me how the new guyToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059048339605087232003-07-24T05:05:00.000-07:002003-07-24T05:05:39.616-07:00A requiem yet written
I have been thinking, which is odd in itself if I give myself the chance to think about it … oh yes, I was thinking about that crazy dream I had a couple days ago. What if it is a premonition of things to come? Could it be that death is at hand and there is no chance of steering clear?
I have had plenty of dreams where I have died, but never in such a variety of Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1059027117606809642003-07-23T23:11:00.000-07:002003-07-24T04:19:23.050-07:00Cats vs. Rec'n Crew
Won 20-9. The game was constantly in danger of being called on account of the monsoon rains that roll into Tucson at the same time every day. Lightning threatened in the distance. We got a lock on the third place seed out of 16 teams with a 13-3 record. The tournament starts next week.
I have been saving myself for this tournament. The last two seasons I did not Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058940631057096012003-07-22T23:10:00.000-07:002003-07-24T04:20:35.216-07:00Causality Loop
I had the strangest dream. I am sitting in a courtyard encircled by numerous buildings blotting out the sky. And then I had it (the dream) again and again and again. Each dream started the same with me sitting in the courtyard but the sequence of events was dictated by what choice I decided to make.
I am sitting in the courtyard and I see this three-foot tall black Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058853842637320052003-07-21T23:04:00.000-07:002003-07-22T08:09:01.030-07:00Gators vs. Rec'n Crew
Won 15-4. I got beamed in the back running into third and came around to score the last run to have the game called due to the mercy rule. We have one more regular season game against a mediocre team. It looks like we have a lock for 3rd place out of 16 going into the tournament with a 12-3 record. We played well. One error did cost us 2 runs but overall I think we are Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058778355103107542003-07-21T02:05:00.000-07:002003-07-21T02:33:24.373-07:00My theory of insomniac displacement
I can’t sleep as usual. I have a theory about my insomnia:
My ancestors originated from the other side of the globe and because of that my body thru the course of evolution has been bred to keep an internal clock that is accustomed to a different time zone.
Or maybe it’s because I think too much, creating absurd theories. Or perhaps it's Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058741286991138492003-07-20T15:48:00.000-07:002003-07-21T02:24:00.973-07:00Time for some personal vanity
I got thru with my workout with Jay, my workout partner. It’s awesome to have a workout partner that is comparable to me in strength. We have been pushing each other and I have been getting in the best workouts ever. My arms are freakish looking when they swell up after a workout. Jay and I then went to play tennis for an hour out in the sun to get some color.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058609328289181342003-07-19T03:08:00.000-07:002003-07-19T04:32:21.846-07:00In my arms is where she belongs
I feel this sullen anger of resentment about how I have been living the past few years. I am finally roused from a long slumber from reality only to be jolted by something even more painful than when I first allowed my mind to drift off into immutable indifference.
When I met the girl with the brown hair curls I knew that she was going to be the girl Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058561476450873592003-07-18T13:51:00.000-07:002003-08-18T01:00:04.500-07:00Northern punk chick
With what I can gleam from words on a screen, I believe I have found my blogging soul mate. She is the female version of myself in every regard. Have you ever met someone that looked like someone else? Ever heard a voice that reminded you of someone else? Ever read the works of an author and was able to recognize the patterns that resembled the works of another?
ItToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058501269613418902003-07-17T21:07:00.000-07:002003-07-18T18:07:01.420-07:00A model employee
Got trashed last night. Had a huge hangover. I usually don’t get them. Had to be at work by 5:45am. Crashed at my ex-roommate’s house at 2am. I was so trashed. I tried to wash my work clothes and after retrieving them from the washer put them in the dryer … to just sit there apparently for the next couple of hours because I forgot to turn the dryer on. Went to work with a Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058272436350715552003-07-15T05:33:00.000-07:002003-07-15T05:33:56.470-07:00100 things about me
Alright ... I have finally followed suit with all the 100 lists out there and made a list of my own. I have borrowed a few from Ryan and Monkey Socks (who gave me the inspiration to create one). Avert thy eyes ye moppets of pregnant offense!
1. Tucson, Arizona is my home. Born and raised.
2. Pearl Jam is my all-time favorite band.
3. I sing like Eddie Vedder.
4.Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058250671586977512003-07-14T23:31:00.000-07:002003-07-15T00:17:45.166-07:00Why I am anti-monkey
This is for Monkey Socks:
The Monkey Aliens
Origin of the Monkey Aliens
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1058062117600126252003-07-12T19:08:00.000-07:002003-07-12T20:14:33.706-07:00After the years have blown away
After the years have blown away as if they were scraps of paper easily scattered and strewn by the wind and after it is all said and done, with what scraps of this life will you hold dear to your heart? What people will be written in your heart? Who are you destined to remember? After the years have blown away? When I am gone. You are gone. Scraps of Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057962456364905282003-07-11T15:27:00.000-07:002003-07-11T15:33:47.350-07:00Intoxicant elixir of forgetfulness
Yesterday was the last day of summer session one. Everyone went to O’Malley’s. The place was packed. The band that played was unbelievable. Fun times were had by all. Except for me … keep drinking, numbing intoxicant elixir of forgetfulness. And yet I cannot forget the girl with the brown hair curls and how I wish she would keep her promise. Girls kept Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057937310869206512003-07-11T08:28:00.000-07:002003-07-11T08:28:30.840-07:00My own worst enemy
I had a dream that I was in boot camp. The twist was that I was back at my old military school that I attended as an alternative to high school. I step foot on campus and am being given preferential treatment by all the drill sergeants because I am a living legend. Apparently the school still talks about me and during the interim years have embellished the stories about meToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057880011746373842003-07-10T16:33:00.000-07:002003-07-10T21:13:51.333-07:00Revisiting the man of steel
I was looking at my post from last year. It's fun to know exactly what you did on the same date in previous years.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057828489701475902003-07-10T02:14:00.000-07:002003-07-11T08:46:20.770-07:00Free beer
The night went by so quickly. Free beer at the San Fran bar. That’s right, free beer all night long for all nine of us. Karaoke. Pearl Jam, that’s right Pearl Jam – my favorite band that ever was. Even Flow and Daughter. The guy who sang Daughter sucked. Even Flow – Awesome. Even Flow played at Maloney’s and San Fran. Everyone looks at me when Pearl Jam comes on because they know Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057730297422483192003-07-08T22:58:00.000-07:002003-07-09T00:30:50.586-07:00Cruisers vs. Rec'n Crew
My bus broke down and I was late to the softball game missing the initial half of the first inning. It was a huge game with tournament seeding at stake. Coming into the game we were in fourth place playing the second place team. I knew that I would have to produce. I hit two homeruns and accounted for a third of our run production. We easily won 16-8.
We have Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057704690509478792003-07-08T15:51:00.000-07:002003-07-08T15:51:30.386-07:00Another trip to the swing set
In a dream I met everyone I have encountered the last few years. I dined with some, walked the streets with others, but they all would direct me towards a destination I was being summoned towards in sober anticipation.
I was very scared the closer I got to my destination – a fenced-in enclosure with a swing set flanking an apartment complex. I was told Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057647069228573832003-07-07T23:51:00.000-07:002003-07-08T03:16:04.513-07:00I want to grow up
I want to grow up … I keep repeating this over and over tonight. I went with the girl with the brown hair curls to go see two movies. We are trying to stay friends, but I know I am making it uneasy for her. It is just going to take a long time for me to heal. She is being patient with me. I don’t want to lose her for good.
There are conflicting voices in my head. OneToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057523872493377772003-07-06T13:37:00.000-07:002003-07-06T15:42:52.566-07:00More drunken debauchery
Yesterday morning I got home from the prior night and get a call from Earl telling me that Erin is having a party and she wanted to invite me. Apparently she was standing right there beside him. I had to work at the rec center that night, closing at 9. I took my time and got to the party a little before 10. I got to the party a little early and not many cars are Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057427918685173952003-07-05T10:58:00.000-07:002003-07-05T12:57:13.396-07:00An inebriated independence day
I’m not an endurance drinker as any of my friends know. I usually consume an intolerable amount of alcohol within the span of 30 minutes to an hour and am absolutely wasted for the rest of the night. Yesterday, I tried my best to pace myself … for 8 hours of drinking. My friend Jay and I started at his house in the afternoon and waited for our friends to go barToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057351085055020162003-07-04T13:38:00.000-07:002003-07-05T01:52:17.613-07:00Hindsight
I’m trying to rest my poor head. I’ve been laying down in bed listening to some music. The acoustic version of Your Body is a Wonderland. I burned a CD for the girl with the brown hair curls with this song only, filling the CD as many times as the song would fit. The song reminds me of her and the times she shared her wonderful body with mine. And now all I can think about is how Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057214488488521622003-07-02T23:41:00.000-07:002003-07-02T23:41:28.526-07:00The Toddfather
I think I broke a blood vessel in the back of my head. I have been feeling nauseous and lightheaded. My head feels like it is going to explode when I lift weights. This is such supreme bullshit; my body has never felt as prepared to lift weights as it does now and I can barely exert myself without feeling that I might drop dead of an aneurism. My head won’t stop pounding.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1057102103151300862003-07-01T16:28:00.000-07:002003-07-01T16:32:05.473-07:00Muscular arousal
I have been pumping my body full of drugs to prime my body to a state of muscular arousal. Last night I was incredibly pumped and ready to lift some serious weights. I get in the gym and see the hardcore lifters there and I say my greetings and can’t wait to get it on as well. I have been waiting for my body to respond like this, but as I was starting on the leg press, Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1056931108620291992003-06-29T16:58:00.000-07:002003-06-29T17:02:21.230-07:00The blueberry smell reminds me of her
Last night a bunch of my friends and I went to the bars and then to a rec center party with all my co-workers (surrogate family) there. Stacey was visiting from ASU and she loves me. She always takes care of me. I have been going out more with my friends. However, it just does not feel right – I feel as if something is missing. I have been getting so Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3470897.post-1056730912466733252003-06-27T09:21:00.000-07:002003-06-27T15:22:22.440-07:00
The janitor of my heart
He is weathered and hunched. Dutifully he awakes from a long slumber to find his home worn and rundown from years of neglect and disuse.
And he begins his cleaning. He mops the floors that have never been tread. He polishes the doorknobs that have never been turned. He dusts the doors that have never been open.
And he sobs, and sulks, and kicks his Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09067294347976418618noreply@blogger.com